Making features from our mistakes

18th January 2017

One of my all time favorite films is the animation “Up” – it is sensitive, poignant, funny and communicates so much about relationships in general and marriage in particular. One of the scenes I love is the opening one in which Carl (who has recently married Ellie) accidentally puts his paint covered hand on their newly decorated mail […]

Go fast, go alone, go far, go together

12th January 2017

Its been a while since I’ve written on the subject of relationships in general and marriage specifically.  Why? All sorts of reasons, from limiting beliefs “Have I really got anything significant to say?” to a feeling close to despair when I see dear friends struggling and “stuck” in their disconnection.  And yet, this summer I […]

Saying what you mean and meaning what you say

16th February 2016

As I am a presenter, trainer, couple mentor and marriage weekend facilitator you could be forgiven for imagining that I’d be quite good at saying what I mean and meaning what I say.  I mean, surely with all this training and experience I must be the communication Queen right? Wrong. I never cease to be […]

50 Shades of Doubt

12th February 2015

No doubt there will be many this Valentines day that consider the ultimate romantic gesture may be a meal followed by a viewing of the much acclaimed “50 shades of grey”.  Far be it from me to rain on anyone’s romantic parade, but permit me to offer 50 shades of doubt as to why this […]

7 steps to creating a more mindful marriage

27th April 2014

After reading an article in the Sunday Times recently on “Mindfulness” in marriage, I have been reflecting on  how the art of living in the present and taking responsibility for our own thoughts, reactions, and feelings “in the moment” has a beneficial effect on marriage.  Here is a synthesis of the article’s conclusions and my […]

Is “conscious un-coupling” the new covenant?

31st March 2014

No more acrimonious divorces, or endless waits for therapists or counsellors, we are living in the dawn of a new type of covenant  – “conscious  un-coupling”  – the new “no fault” parting of the ways which simply acknowledges the passage of time and the re-appearance of past wounds as “just cause”.    Now, I know […]

Hanging by a thread?

29th March 2014

The overworked joke of marriage is the metaphor of the ball and chain that speaks of restriction, captivity, loss of freedom… and yet as I reflect on the last 30 years of marriage, I think its less about constriction and more about connection.  However the connecting is not the cold steal of a chain but […]

Your marriage is a message

13th March 2014

  A chap called Lewis Smedes once said that our greatest task is to live “the sort of life that makes people say, Ah, so that’s how people are going to live when righteousness takes over our world.” These days we might say right-living, or uprightness instead of righteousness. I like to think of it […]

Of plants and marriage….

7th March 2014

I have a bit of a reputation (okay well a lot of a reputation) for being characteristically bad with house plants.  Don’t get me wrong I love plants.  I love the colours, I love the shape, I love what a great plant can add to a general ambiance.  Its just that I’m really bad at […]

Can giving really be better than receiving?

15th February 2014

  Acts 20:35 states that ‘it is more blessed to give than to receive’. I’ve always known that giving to others is better than thinking about ourselves and was told from a young age that ‘I want doesn’t get’ in order to stop me becoming overly selfish or spoilt. But whilst I always understood that […]